Chua Soi Lek claim Adultery may be the key to a long, happy marriage,

Beware of predators!Soi Lek not brain dead,but sex hungry”Retired, but not brain dead”?

could be the key to a happy marriage,  Adultery may be the key to a long, happy marriage Most of the applause anyway came from men; women were wary. What Irrfan had done was to lay bare an eternal male fantasy, and stoke a woman’s essential fear. He gave expression to what he called a “sanctified marriage” but what actually can at best be termed “sanctified infidelity”. I think a sanctified marriage is when you have an option to sleep with 10 people, but you are still choosing that one person to live with,” said Irrfan. People wondered if he was hinting at being in an open marriage. Or was he a swinger? While an open marriage or a polyamorous arrangement implies a relationship with more than two people at the same time, a swinger swings from person to person, merely for sex.

“Outsourcing” areas of the marriage such as sex to other suitors could make a relationship work in the long run, they argue.

For marriages in which the passion and intimacy has gone, Eli Finkel, from the department of psychology at Northwestern University in Illinois, advises embarking on an agreed “non-monogamous” relationship.things look a bit different. For given the nature of the social customs that surround marriage, for men in India, marriage is an institutionalised assertion of continuity while for women, it, more often than not, represents an acceptance of change that she cannot control nor fully comprehend at the time of the marriage. While this divergence in the meaning of marriage is quite apparent in an arranged marriage, even in a ‘love’ marriage, it is the woman’s life that changes more significantly, and in a manner that is often outside her control.

“It may be that your spouse is a terrific source of social support and intellectual stimulation but you haven’t had sex more than twice a year for the last five years and neither of you thinks that’s adequate,” he told The Telegraph.

“So you could say, that’s one of the needs I am going to fulfil elsewhere. I don’t recommend cheating, but an openly consensual non-monogamous relationship, that may very well be functional.”

In the paper The Suffocation of Marriage, Prof Finkel and his co-authors argue that people now expect more from a partner than ever before – to be a lover, friend, confidant, therapist, and someone to help achieve their long-term goals.

Yet, couples are spending increasingly less time with each other, meaning many are left unsatisfied. He also suggests living apart and placing specific diameters on the relationship.

“In 1800 you didn’t have to have a profound insight into your partner’s core essence to tend the chickens properly or build a sound physical structure out of the snow,” he said.

“In contrast, in 2014 you are really hoping your partner can help you on your voyage of self discovery and personal growth

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We all know that some men are forever on the prowl. The men who are misfits in society, the mysterious loners who hold an allure for unsuspecting girls. Lesson to learn? Be suspicious. Mothers warn their daughters against exactly these men while, ironically, literature has romanticised the same breed of men – the strong and silent type. Remember Mr Rochester in Jane Eyre? Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice? Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights?Even Howard Roark in The Fountainhead? Or a Mills & Boon hero? The more brooding and difficult they are, the greater their appeal. Each one of them is a perfect example of a sociopath who amazingly changes colour once he meets ‘the right girl’.

He anyway wasn’t in love with her for her qualifications. People fall in love and hearts and bodies connect. That’s called being human. The girl enjoys sex as much as the guy does and when a couple splits up, to assume the guy isn’t equally hurt is absurd. But you don’t hear men wailing about being “dumped” or “used”, because men have been brought up to not display tears or signs of weakness. They are automatically and unfairly slotted as “tough” and hence, by default, as the emotionless users. How ridiculous to assume that women fall prey to a man’s charms, but that men don’t fall prey to a woman’s charm?! Talks of “character” and “reputation” are all societal prejudices and drive women to absolve themselves of all responsibility in the eventuality that things don’t go as planned.

If there’s any stigma to the woman, it’s not the man, but society to blame for it because if society is so concerned about the reputation of the womsan, it only needs to reprimand itself for creating such stupid stigmas in the first place.

These men play upon a woman’s irrepressible romantic instinct and her compulsion to love and mould another human being. So anyone off the beaten track interests and excites women. If he has an artistic streak, all the better, because it suggests greater sensitivity harboured within, awaiting her love to wash him in a new light. He knows this and plays the game well, fascinating her with his dark moods and sudden spurts of heart-melting romance. And so, all bad boys find well-meaning little women, eager to please and hoping to change them.

But goodness, is she in for a huge heartbreak?! Yes, because the sociopath is incapable of loving anyone but himself. He will romance her wildly, get her hooked and then move on to the next victim. The poor girls forget that most of the romantic novels end at the point where the hero unites with the heroine, without talking of the undoubtedly awful marriage the two will have. For, how can a man full of himself, focussed on his own needs and incapable of loving another, be good husband material?readmore Chua Soi Lek claim Adultery may be the key to a long, happy marriage,