- Malaysians of all races should protest en masse the practice of same sex marriages as they would erode the family institution, advised Minister in Prime Minister’s Department, Datuk Seri Jamil Khir Baharom.
Commenting on the recent wedding reception here of Malaysian gay Christian priest, Ngeo Boon Lin and his musical producer partner, Phineas Newborn III, who were married in New York last year, he said that even the Christians in the country prohibited such practices.
“The reception portrayed Malaysian society as confused. It’s clear their motive was to fight for gay rights,” he said.
He was speaking a press conference after breaking fast with the Department and agencies’ staff at the National Mosque, here.
There are five references in the Qur'an regarding gay behaviour. The two main references to homosexual behaviour are:
"We also sent Lut : He said to his people : "Do ye commit lewdness such as no people in creation (ever) committed before you? For ye practice your lusts on men in preference to women: ye are indeed a people transgressing beyond bounds." Qur'an 7:80-81
"What! Of all creatures do ye come unto the males, and leave the wives your Lord created for you? Nay, but ye are forward folk." Qur'an 26:165
Both these verses refer to gay sexual activities involving men. Gay sexual activities involving women or lesbian practices are not mentioned in the Qur'an. There is at least one mention of lesbian behaviour in the Hadith, though. However, while traditionalist orthodox Muslims regard the Hadith as the authentic sayings of Prophet Muhammad, liberal Muslims doubt their authenticity. And some sects of Islam reject the Hadith totally or have a different version of the Hadith.
In many Muslim countries, homosexuality is condemned and subject to legal punishment. The specific punishment varies among jurists, ranging from jail time and/or flogging to the death penalty. In Islam, capital punishment is reserved only for the most grievous crimes that would hurt society as a whole. Some jurists place homosexuality under that category, particularly in countries such as Iran, Afghanistan, Saudi Arabia, Sudan, Yemen etc.
Arrest and punishment for homosexual crimes, however, are not frequently carried out because Islam also places a strong emphasis on an individual's right to privacy. If a ‘crime’ is not committed in the public sphere, it is largely overlooked as being a matter between the individual and God.
Now, is that clear, especially to the non-Muslims reading this piece? In short, a crime that is damaging to society is taken seriously and the punishment is severe. A crime that does not affect society and is committed behind closed doors is between you and God.
One very important aspect of Islam is: a person’s privacy must be respected and you should not spy on your neighbour. Spying on your neighbour is a bigger sin than the sin committed by your neighbour behind closed doors.
Now, why is the Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department, Datuk Seri Jamil Khir Baharom, so kaypoh about what others do? Whatever perceived sin the Christian priest, Ngeo Boon Lin, and his partner, Phineas Newborn III, did was done outside Malaysia. Even if a crime had been committed it was done so outside Malaysia’s jurisdiction. If these two had committed a crime then let the US punish them since they did it on US soil. What next does the Minister want to do? Peep on Malaysians in the UK who do not pray and fast and drink beer? Do you think Scotland Yard has no other problems to deal with?
If you were to ask a Muslim what is Islam all about, he or she would reply that Islam is about justice. If you were to ask a Muslim who may support the Islamic Sharia laws, in particular that branch of the Sharia called Hudud, he or she would reply: because the Sharia and Hudud is about justice.
Everything about Islam, as far as these people are concerned, is about justice. And you just cannot separate Islam and justice.
Okay, let us, for purposes of this discussion, not dispute that argument. Let us agree that Islam and justice go hand-in-hand. Let us even agree that the Sharia, Hudud included, is about justice. But why do the religious scholars and politicians always and only talk about sex?
Islam is supposed to be about justice. But they talk as if Islam is only about sex. Everything that comes out of their mouths is about sex. I am yet to hear anyone talk about justice. It is always about sex. You are giving people the impression that Islam is so focused on sex that sex has become an obsession to Muslims.
Okay, Islam is against homosexuality. I am not going to deny that fact. But Islam also says that what you do behind closed doors is between you and God. Islam also says you should not spy on your neighbour or peep into your neighbour’s house. Islam also says that what you do in your home is your business as long as what you do does not hurt society. Only if it hurts society should we be concerned, even if it is done in the privacy of your home and office.
So, what are these crimes that do affect society and which we should be concerned about even if committed in the privacy of your home and office, and which the Minister should be talking about? Well, what about bribery, corruption, abuse of power, mismanagement of the country’s (meaning taxpayers’) resources, police violence, manipulation of the judiciary, cronyism, nepotism, racism, persecution, denial of someone’s fundamental rights, etc? There are loads and loads of sins and crimes that affect society and which Islam forbids. And on a list of 100 such sins and crimes, homosexuality sits at the bottom of that list. Yet we talk about the bottom 100th and not the top 99.
What is wrong with Muslims? They turn Islam into a religion of ridicule. And when people ridicule Islam these Muslims get angry. They threaten revenge and bloodshed. They demand death for those who insult Islam and/or Prophet Muhammad.
How do you expect people not to insult Islam if the Muslims themselves make a mockery of Islam? When you act like a lunatic of course people are going to call you a lunatic. And when Muslims act like lunatics you can expect non-Muslims to say that Islam is a bad religion.
You are demanding for non-Muslims to respect Islam. But how can you expect them to respect Islam when Muslims themselves act disrespectfully toward their own religion. You are turning Islam into a circus with the things you are doing and saying. And when people laugh you get angry.
Malaysians of all races should protest en masse the practice of same-sex marriages as they would erode the family institution, advised the Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department, Datuk Seri Jamil Khir Baharom.
Well, in case you have not realised, Yang Berhormat, not only same-sex marriages, as you said, erode the family institution. Sex outside marriage does as well. And there are many more Malaysians bonking outside marriage than Malaysians entering same-sex marriages. So why aren’t you appealing to all Malaysians to ‘protest en masse’ regarding this? This is a bigger problem than same-sex marriages.
Bangang sungguh menteri Melayu ni!
In this year's battles over same-sex marriage (there are referenda on the issue in Minnesota, Maine, Maryland, and Washington), opponents have tried to depict the issue as a choice between traditional religious values and some sinister homosexual agenda, between God and gay. In fact, a vote for same-sex marriage is a vote for traditional religious values, such as the importance of companionship (Genesis 2:18) or civil justice (Deuteronomy 16:20), and the value that "love" isn't whatever we say it is but that movement of the heart that is patient, kind, and humble (1 Corinthians 13:4-6).
But, some people argue, what about the fact that the only sanctioned relationship in the Bible is between a man and a woman? Well, in fact, that's not quite the case. The story of the faithful centurion, told in Matthew 8:5-13 and Luke 7:1-10, is about a Roman centurion who comes to Jesus and begs that Jesus heal his pais, a word sometimes translated as "servant." Jesus agrees and says he will come to the centurion's home, but the centurion says that he does not deserve to have Jesus under his roof, and he has faith that if Jesus even utters a word of healing, the healing will be accomplished. Jesus praises the faith of the centurion, and the pais is healed. This tale illustrates the power and importance of faith, and how anyone can possess it. The centurion is not a Jew, yet he has faith in Jesus and is rewarded.
But pais does not mean "servant." It means "lover." In Thucydides, in Plutarch, in countless Greek sources, and according to leading Greek scholar Kenneth Dover, paisrefers to the junior partner in a same-sex relationship. Now, this is not exactly a marriage of equals. An erastes-pais relationship generally consisted of a somewhat older man, usually a soldier between the ages of 18 and 30, and a younger adolescent, usually between the ages of 13 and 18. Sometimes that adolescent was a slave, as seems to be the case here. It would be inappropriate, in my view, to use the word "gay" to describe such a relationship; that word, and its many connotations, comes from our time, not that of Ancient Greece and Rome. This is not a relationship that any LGBT activist would want to promote today.
However, it is a same-sex relationship nonetheless. (It is also basically the same as the soldier/armor-bearer in the model of David and Jonathan, which I'll explore in a future article.) And what is Jesus's response? Does he spit in the centurion's face for daring to suggest that he heal the soldier's lover? Hardly. He recognizes the relationship and performs an act of grace.
Now, could pais really just mean "servant"? There are several reasons why this makes no sense. First, one would not expect a Roman centurion to intercede, let alone "beg" (parakaloon), on behalf of a mere servant or slave. Second, while Luke refers to the young man as a doulos (slave), the centurion himself specifically calls him a pais; this strongly suggests that the distinction is important. Third, we know that the erastes-pais intimate relationship was common practice among Roman soldiers, who were not allowed to take wives, and whose life was patterned on the Greek model of soldier-lovers. If pais just means "servant," none of this makes any sense.
If I and dozens of other scholars (some of whom are listed below) are correct, this is a radical act. Jesus is extending his hand not only to the centurion but to his partner, as well. In addition to Jesus' silence on homosexuality in general (he never mentions same-sex intimacy, not once, despite its prevalence in his social context), it speaks volumes that he did not hesitate to heal a Roman's likely same-sex lover. Like his willingness to include former prostitutes in his close circle, Jesus' engagement with those whose conduct might offend sexual mores even today is a statement of radical inclusion, and of his own priorities for the spiritual life.
It also sets up a useful distinction for those who may be struggling with same-sex marriage as a religious act, but who nonetheless want their gay and lesbian family members, friends, and community members not to be discriminated against. Jesus is not conducting a same-sex marriage here. Yet he is recognizing a socially accepted same-sex relationship. Likewise, Christians and Jews today who may not be ready to celebrate same-sex weddings in their own churches and synagogues can and should endorse civil marriage equality in the public sphere. In a very different context, this is exactly what Jesus did 2,000 years ago.
UMI HAFILDA SAYS HAVING CARNAL SEX WITH PAPAGOMO IS LIFE’S ULTIMATE PLEASURE
When my dad came out to me, it wasn’t his being gay that was a shock. It was the fact that I’d spent two decades of my life thinking he was straight. I mean, what was I supposed to think? He was my dad, married to my mom for 25 years. After he revealed the truth (to my mother first, then to me two years later), I went into panic mode: How close could I really be to my dad when he was keeping a secret that huge from us? Did I really know him — could I, when he was putting so much effort into hiding who he was?
There had been signs all along, of course — I realize that now. I see that a lot of the tension I felt as a kid had to do with the secret my dad kept, which my mom unconsciously guarded. In the early 90s, and my dad was obsessed with Madonna and Euro-pop. He stayed in shape running Marathons and flaunted his lean body in a Speedo at our beach house in Sag Harbor. When I got to be a teenager, my peers started to notice. I remember that my childhood BFF thought there was something different and distant about my dad. My eighth grade boyfriend pointed out that my dad wore an earring (which does not mean you are gay, but to a teen boy well-tuned into to stereotypes about men, it was undeniable proof). “So?!” I said. I guess I, like my mom, was guarding the secret, too. My dad was living a split identity: He was a husband and father in a better Brooklyn neighborhood than the one in which he’d grown up, and he was an eligible gay man, frequenting night clubs like The Slide, Webster Hall and Twilo, as I’d later come to find out.
While sexuality doesn’t make up our entire identity, it does vastly define us. For me, a byproduct of growing up with a closeted gay dad was that men became puzzles to me. What was going on in there? Did I know anything about how they worked? I started to look at all of them as mysteries to be solved, which meant that I often dated withholding men, men who came tangled up in their own issues. The more issues they had, the more withholding they were, the more ferociously I would chase them, like a child determined to solve a riddle.
My first love was a skateboarder who played Casper in the 1995 movie Kids. The relationship was fraught with angst, as the more he pulled away, the more needy I became. He was troubled, and I wanted desperately to fix him. I couldn’t. Then there was the married man with whom I had an affair — granted, he was in an open marriage — an arrangement I neither understood nor was completely comfortable with. Yet I stayed because I found the situation intriguing. After him, I dated a string of men who were always missing something, and I could never figure out what that something was. Sometimes they’d disappear for weeks on end, and then reappear like their desertion was the most normal thing in the world. Usually, these men were incredibly intense, and the time I’d spend with them would leave me enraptured with the attention they paid me. But, they would often have a “flickering conscience” — sometimes being kind and moral, other times being cruel and opportunistic. I was always wondering, is this guy for real? And who is he?
Unfortunately, my dad’s coming out didn’t instantly make all men less mysterious me. However, understanding this part of him — his sexuality, no longer obscured — helped me get to know the man my father is.
Coming out allowed him to be open with me about the rest of his life. He’s a beekeeper, a chef, an uncle; he’s helped thousands of kids throughout his 40 of work in the New York City Department of Education. Many of the things he appreciates — curiosity, a good bottle of Chianti, mystery novels, gardening — I value, too. How couldn’t I? I’m his daughter. Like any other daughter, my identity was shaped by my dad’s — first as a little girl, then as a teen, and then finally as an adult.
I’m realizing that I want to be seen and known for who I am — a writer, godmother, sister, friend, plant lover, cheese enthusiast, activist, fashionista, and Latin scholar. I’m also someone who doesn’t want to have to figure out who the person is I’m giving myself to intimately. I’m a gift, like all women are, and it’s nice for a man to show some interest in unwrapping me for a change.
I may not know everything about men these days, but accepting my dad for who he is, has become a relief: I no longer have the burden of figuring out the mystery. Next month he’ll wed his longtime partner at their summer home in upstate New York. The bees will be there, and so will I.
This is my third and final post in the ‘I can’t stop thinking about sex’ series. This post explores the idea of sacred sex. My intention is to offer hope and inspiration to those who are still caught up in the myths about love and sex propagated by the media such that the experience of sacred sex becomes a worthy and meaningful goal. While this post is primarily intended to reach out to and reassure men who are struggling to integrate their sexuality with their quest for spiritual enlightenment, female readers may nevertheless glean some useful insights from the ideas presented.READMORE
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